Feb 26, 2011

Not off the wagon but not on the ball

Compared to last week's 9 pound loss, the 3-4 pounds I lost this week got me kicking myself for not pushing myself like last week. My food was on track but my exercise lagged. Last week I hit 4500 calories burned a day. This week, the average was 3500 - 4000. It's no wonder I didn't get the results of last week. 1 pound = 3500 calories. 4500 calories burned - 1200 consumed = 3300 calorie deficit a day last week. 3500 - 1200 = only 2300. The math doesn't lie. I get out of it what I put into it.

All aside, I am happy to be rid of the 4 pounds but happy and unsatisfied will push me to get 9 pounds next week.

After hitting the scale and realizing I had slacked in my tenaciousness over the week, I was frustrated, even angry with myself and took it out on my family this morning. After getting to work I felt awful for being short with my strongest supporter, my wife.

To my loving wife,

After I got into my work I was trying to figure out why this keeps happening (fights about weight loss) and I think I gained a little insight into the root of the problem. First of all, I see that you were just trying to help. I am sorry for being ultra sensitive. I know you want nothing more than for us to succeed and be happy.

Weight, in general, has always been a sensitive topic my whole life. I didn't want to talk about it and I DEFIANTLY didn't want anyone telling me what I was doing wrong. In this whole journey, I think the only way I have been able to cope with confronting the reality of the problem is to own the problem and the solution. Unless something is MY idea, it doesn't resonate and doesn't work for me on a mental level. Even explaining it doesn't even probably make sense to you but it does to me. Even though we are on the right track, it hasn't made taking anything that resembles criticism easier for me.

Please forgive me for snapping and being short this morning. I feel I know why I didn't get the results I was shooting for this week because I didn't put in the vigilance and hard work I did last week. I have no one to blame but myself and I don't mean to take it out on my family. I guess when you are frustrated with yourself, the ones who suffer are the people who love you and are around you. Sorry, I will try and be less sensitive.

I love you Kar,
  your husband, Mike

P.S. Thank you for supporting me 100% everyday by making my meals, encouraging me and most of all, walking along side me in this journey.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Mike, I hope you don't mind if I congratulate you on the 4 pound loss. You know what you need to do to see the results you would like, so it's your decision. You're doing more than me, and I need to get off my butt and follow your example. My metabolism is very slow. I'm not sure, but it might have even slowed down a bit more as of late. I will have to keep an eye on that. I wore my new bodybugg sp all day yesterday. I was my usual sedentary self and only burned 2440 calories all day. A few months ago, a day like yesterday was burning almost 2700 calories. I need to work on that, plus stop being so sedentary. I plan on using the treadmill today and try to at least burn 2800 or more.

    That was a nice note to your wife. I sometimes behave in a way that is not so nice towards my husband, usually when my blood sugar is down and I'm more irritable. My husband is one of those people that are calm as a cucumber 24x7. So when I yell at him, it makes me feel even worse. I'm not sure that we need to be less sensitive but maybe learn to understand our emotions and try to react in a way that is not striking out at the person who made the comment. The comment or action might anger or hurt us, but it won't do us any good to fly off the handle. This is something I have been trying to work on. I'm sure I'm not communicating it well and I for sure don't mean to get in your business. I only said something, because I think being sensitive doesn't equate to a negative.

    Best wishes to you Mike. Your drive to find ways to burn more calories (the stairs at work or laps in the parking lot)is inspiring.

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  2. Thank you Tammy, your comment was just what I needed today.

    The body bugg is such a great tool. I hope it motivates you like it does me. When I check it to see how many calories I have lost, it motivates me to do something ... anything more active then my bump on a log position.

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