Apr 4, 2011

The selfish nature of obesity

One of the most difficult parts of losing weight is having to treat the symptoms of the problem without understanding the real causes. Some of the underlying issues of my weight problem could not be realized untill I began to lose the weight. The physical part of it is easy to understand. I got fat because I ate to much, moved too little and was apathetic to the consiquenses. I had no idea mentally why I kept getting back to that place though. One of the problems is I was, in a way, self obsorbed. Not in a conceded way, but in a way that I was in a constant state of reassurance. In order to cope with the obvious fact that I could't function as a normal person because of my size I had to build myself up many times just to go out in public. That constant focus on self is lonely.

As I have found confidence and admiration for myself in this journey, I no longer have to think about me and how I look and what I can or can't do because of my weight ... Is that chair going to hold me? If it does will the arms let go of my fat butt when I stand up? When I walk up the stairs, will people notice the heavy breathing? Is the Big&Tall going to have any affordable t-shirts that don't have the slogan "Big Dog" on it? And when you are heavy, there is an extra vigulance that has to take place with grooming, how you walk, how you eat... There is just soooooo much to worry about it makes me exausted thinking about all the things that would subconsiously go through my head on a daily basis.

I am reminded of a story my mom has tould me on a couple occasions about a couple girls she went to elemtry school with. I am going to call them Jill and Debbie. Between my mom, Jill and Debbie, Jill was the only one who wore glasses. One day Debbie thought it would be fun to try on Jill's glasses. To her astonishment, she could suddenly see birds in the trees and the individual blades of grass by her feet. It was like the world was a new place. Untill her vision was corrected, Debbie thought she understood what it ment to see.

Sean recently posted "Sometimes, you must work on the solution before you can correctly identify the problem." What an inspired truth. I started out losing weight without any real understanding of the mindset that got me to a monstrous 524 pounds. These past couple weeks I have felt like Debbie looking through those glasses for the first time. It is awesome. I see things I didn't realize were missing from my life. I can't wait to discover even more along the way!

7 comments:

  1. Life is good,... Stick with it, it gets better...

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  2. It is a journey and it will change you along the way. I don't feel like the person I was when I was chowing down on junk every day. That person was someone I was ashamed of. I'm still learning to understand and like the new me. I wish you the best.

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  3. Great post! Gets us all thinking.

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  4. Nice post. I know a lot of people have underlying problems for getting heavy. I used to think I must have had some too, but I've realized along the way that I really didn't. I was just lazy, I like food, and I made really poor choices. It's still been tough though, because changing those bad habits sucked and it still sucks. I've had to completely rewire my thinking.
    I'm hoping that you are finding out what you need to find out about yourself as you are losing weight and making these positive changes in your life.

    Sarah
    notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com

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  5. Awesome post, really Mike, Awesome!!
    Have a great week. God Bless!!

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  6. yep...one minute you think one way, the next another...This is fun watching from the sidelines...I am cheering for you mike.

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  7. I told myself I wasn't commenting on any blogs tonight (exhausted), but yours really, truly resonated with me. I was subsciously telling myself reasons why I couldn't do things. For most of my life! Now I know why I CAN do these things & I know what I'm working towards---and that is MORE than worth it!

    Thanks for the post!

    Sarah

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