Aug 31, 2011


There are many people in my life that have influenced me in some way or another. Reading over at Life as a Fat Girl definitely inspired this post. As I read all about Ayla I was empowered by her story, and it made me want to be a better person.

There are so many bloggers, and so many of our readers that have inspired me. Gosh I could list them all day, but something hit me as I read today. Maybe it's this virtual online world. My digital life as some people call it. I can read and be inspired all day but I loose the fact that there is a real person on the other end experiencing a lot of the things I am going through.

I met a fellow blogger over at Mike's Gym event yesterday. Ryan from No More Bacon (Holla Ryan! Good times)
It was refreshing to meet someone we look up to, and talk face to face. It became real, I'll read his posts differently now that I have met him. Because I made that connection.

Somehow as I read today I was able to make that connection with the authors. It had so much more meaning. I got so much more out of the posts, it was overwhelming, and exciting. I wanted to know more about each person. It made it that much more real.

I have a whole new perspective on how this online stuff really works.

I'm here to let you know, as I sit here and type, that I am REAL. I'm a stay at home mom trying to get healthy and live a better life. I struggle with things, I fail some-days, but you guys help me get back up. Hopefully if I do meet some of my friends online you'll know me for being real online.I want people who meet me to say, "Oh...that's just how I pictured pictured her." ............hopefully ;)

I probably should go to one of these blogging conferences, so I can meet these amazing people in person. I'm sure that would help.

I dedicate this post to the people who have been part of my real life and maybe not so much my virtual life. Friends and family who are there everyday to cheer us on. A shoulder to cry on a babysitter while I go to the gym. People I have learned something from by seeing them go through their trials, and fighting through it.Those who have passed on from this life, I'll have those memories to treasure. These people keep me going everyday. Thank you!

Aug 29, 2011


One year ago I was at the crossroads of weight loss surgery, giving up and just doing what I had to. One of the first big changes that I have made and has stuck is the elimination of the green menace known as Mt. Dew. I used to drink a 64 oz of this stuff before lunch. Do you know how much sugar is in 64 oz of Mt. Dew? How man calories?

248 Grams of sugar!
Thanks to for the visual
880 Calories! And ALL 880 Calories come from sugar!

When I swore off the stuff I didn't just drop Mt. Dew I dropped all soda for a month and although I will indulge in the occasional diet soda on a rare occasion, regular soda is dead to me and has never been the hindrance to my weight loss since. One year later I am committing again to go cold turkey on the bubbly and I want you to join me.

1. Enter the challenge by commenting here.
2. Sign up at my event today at Crossroads Fitness.
    (If you are one of the first 150 people to sign up at the event, you also get a free sports water bottle today!)

1. Don't drink soda or any carbonated beverages starting any day in September for 30 days. (duuuuh!)
2. Tell others about the challenge to promote health and to keep you on track.

1. The obvious benefits that come from not drinking the stuff
2. When you enter the challenge, you also are entered into the drawing for the "Anti-Soda Prize Pack" which includes:
  • 6 Boxes of Crystal Light On The Go Drink Mixes
  • A "It's Not WHERE you start it's WHEN" sports water bottle
  • Anything else I decide to throw in between now and drawing day.

- I am not going to babysit this challenge. You don't have to prove you didn't drink any soda, pee in a cup or send in a blood sample. Is it possible someone who wins this will drink soda? Yea, but the honor code is in force here so take the challenge to heart and try going soda free.
- No one is sponsoring this challenge. I use Crystal Light in place of soda and it has worked for me. 

EXPOSED AND ON DISPLAY: How I am trying to give back

As I am narrowing down things and get ready for my first public appearance event today at Crossroads Fitness in Sandy, I have been thinking a lot about the message I want to share. Everyone else has a product that they are excited to share surrounding health and fitness. Attune foods will be there showing off excellent breakfast products, Good Earth Natural Foods will be sharing how organic foods can improve your life. Everyone has a product, that is the reason they are there.

Why am I there?

When I was thinking about that, and the realization came to me that was the product, I started to panic and get very nervous. Why am I, a 360 pound man trying to be a poster child for weight loss? What am I thinking? I am going to be showing pictures of myself at my heaviest to the whole world. Yes, I have been doing this for some time here at my blog but this is going to be real life, not my internet life. There is no level of detachment and the reality of people looking at the pictures. There is no ability to delete a mean hearted comments if it goes to far like I can here. No filters no safety, real life.

Okay, now that I have given you a taste of the anxiety I face at 4 - 8pm today let me tell you why I want to do this. Simply put, it is too important not to share.

If there was something that was so powerful that it changed your entire life, your relationships with family and friends, the way you interact with people, your work..... you would want to share it right? I feel obligated to share. When I was at 524 pounds, I was desperate. Desperate to find hope for myself through someone else. Someone who wasn't doing it for a TV show, someone who didn't get weight loss surgery and someone who wasn't popping pills that would later prove to mess your body up more than it fixed it. It was not easy to find. In fact, when I started searching I could only find a few guys who where sharing their experience on line. The experiences these guys shared helped change my life forever. Knowing that there were others out there struggling with the same situation I was, and winning, gave me hope.

Who am I trying to reach? Those who have lost hope or those that think that they can not _________. I am VERY aware that I am not yet the buff dude everyone wants to look like in the Ambercrombie and Fitch adds and I have a long way to go. I am not saying "look at me I am the perfect example", I am saying "I am struggling to lose 300 pounds. If I can do this, you can do this. Let's do it together." I want people to get over unspoken stigmas and talk about weight loss. I want to help people realize the lies they tell themselves and that while genetics, metabolism, medical issues... may contribute to obesity, the biggest obstacle to losing weight is yourself. I want to help people get out of their own way and see the results that will change their lives as mine is changing.

I hope one day I can find a way to do this full time. For now, I have taken a vacation from my day job, found a sitter for the baby Badgers and put all my energies into making this event a success. If my story can help one person recommit, one person realize their potential, today will be worth it all.To a community that has shown me immeasurable support, I hope to give something back today.

P.S. I will be posting with the hashtag #crfitness today if you want to follow the play by play.

Aug 24, 2011


I read Mike's last post and got so emotional, I am so proud of him. He is working so hard to achieve his goal. His strides for success go much deeper than a smaller number on the scale, and it affects me more than you can imagine. People can see that there is more to this guy than meets the eye. That is what I love about Mike.

I am near my goal. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think the real fight is maintaining the magic number once you get there. I'll need plenty of advice from those of you who have experience in this area. I am 5 pounds away from reaching under 200 pounds. 199?!!! I can't remember the last time I read that on the scale.

March 2010
Before and Afters motivate me more than anything.

Aug 23, 2011

IF I COULD TALK TO THE MAN IN THE PICTURE: A before picture that made me pause

Cleaning off my desk yesterday, my wife and I finally went through the oldest pile of papers we have put off for a long long time. One of the folders I pulled from the file was my application to be on The Biggest Loser. I opened the folder lifted a page and saw this guy.

At first I did not recognize him. Unexpectedly being confronted with the photograph was startling to me. "Oh my gosh babe look at this." I had forgot that this picture existed. While we both gasped for a bit and stared at the photo I was exclaiming excitement at the realization of my progress but at the same time couldn't help but feel compassion for the guy starring back at me.

In this picture, I still had not decided to change.

Aug 22, 2011

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Exploring our interactions with what we eat & why

Social influence is something I think about a lot. I use twitter, facebook, this blog, Google+ and other social sites to get the "If I can do it, you can do it" message out there. I often think about the influence I had on others for so long to overeat.  

As one of my long time fiends in the weight loss world has said, "First it's food, then it's poop". The reality of food's physical purpose is very simple and utilitarian. It is very simple in nature. The purpose of food is to provide nutrition to our body and mind. It is not something evil or good. It has no agenda to make you fat. It is fuel. While the utilitarian aspect of food is simple, the complexity of the roll that food plays in our lives is much more complex.
Cultures and food are inseparably connected. Food literally helps define culture. Indian, Mexican, Spanish, Scandinavian, Japanese, Chinese .... with the word "food" slapped at the end of any of these and immediately we can associate dishes, sauces, preparation methods and flavors. In a very real way food helps us define each other. 

Aug 17, 2011

WIFE WEIGHS IN WEDNESDAY: I had my Sweet Tooth removed

As Mike kind of let everyone know, I was out of it last Wednesday, due to some major, much needed, and long awaited dental work. To make my smile more beautiful. Yay!..... and not so yay it was painful. I have been joking with everyone that asks, because the word spreads like weeds out here:

"Oh ya, I just had my sweet tooth removed" Lol!
Wouldn't that be nice? Not craving that bite of chocolate at the end of the day. Or some soft creamy ice cream on a hot summer day. No temptation to add a cookie or two to my six inch sub meal at Subway.

No.... I still crave it all people. Let's keep it real here!

We went camping with Mike's family this past weekend. Whenever we get together with the fam it's a party or as Mike's sister Shelley would put it, "Paaaartaaaay!" It's a lot of laughing games, and fun...... oh and food. Keepin' it real.

Enjoying a moment of sweet tooth satisfaction. Keepin' it real.

Aug 15, 2011

DON'T GET FIT, LIVE FIT: A family affair

There are a lot of people that treat weight loss and fitness as if it was a destination. Obviously I am not discounting the importance of a goal weight or trying to achieve a certain level of fitness. When you have a LOT of weight to lose, you need to be able to start with the end in mind. Losing weight will undoubtedly improve your quality of life, but living fit is so much more than losing weight.

This weekend my family and I went camping up Big Cottonwood Canyon here in Utah. As one of the activities on our camp out, we decided to hike up to Doughnut Falls. As we hiked up the trail I couldn't help but think how impossible the journey would have been 150 lbs. ago. I was able to enjoy the climb as I walked with my boy, Jeffrey, up the trail. I never would have done this a year ago. Take away the difficulty level and I still wouldn't have wanted to go on the hike.
Donut FallsLength: Up to 3.5 miles out and back
Difficulty: Moderate

Aug 11, 2011


I have been thinking about how awesome the human body is lately. When you are living an unhealthy life and view your body as something you would rather not think about, appreciation for that body isn't something you think about. As I have lost the weight, I have a new appreciation for this work in progress.

Think about it. Your body is the perfect machine.

Aug 10, 2011


For those who were looking forward to WIFE WEIGHS IN WEDNESDAYS, sorry. Karlie is going in for oral surgery so this week isn't happening. She says hi and will be back next week when her face isn't umbed to extreams.

Aug 9, 2011


 I work out at night. I know all the benefits of exercising in the morning... blah blah blah. I just like working out at night. In fact, I like working out so late that I lift weights at the gym and they close before cardio time and I gots to get my cardio in so I either run from the gym home if Karlie drops me off or after weight lifting I leave my car in the parking lot at the gym and run a loop that gets me back to my car. Either way is about 2.3 miles.

A strange thing has happened in the mind of Badger. Look back in some posts and I am sure you will find a snippet that sounds something like this:

"I don't want to be a runner. That's just not me."
"I don't run for anything I only run from things." (like spiders for example)

I  am starting to learn that I have to get use to the fact that the concept of me is ever evolving nowadays. Statements about who I am and what I do or can do will be constantly changing ... in a good way though.

Now I enjoy running. I love to be outside and somehow feel more a part of my community when I run the streets. It's my town. The other day I told my wife how hard it would be for me to leave Sandy because of the sense of community I have gained over the past years. When we are eventually able to afford a house it would be hard to leave the area.

I love meeting new people on the trails and on the street. I mean it's not everyday the CEO of an NBA basketball team stops you while your chugging along and stops you to say good job. That kind of stuff has happened while I have been running. Other reasons I run:
  • it makes me feel good (is this what people meant by runner's high?)
  • I feel motivated to be a better person in other areas of my life after I run
  • I get off on the mental idea of me being a runner (it still makes me laugh)
  • Oh makes me lose weight too!
I am committed to be able to run a 5K not just enter one. I want to be able to run from start to finish. There are a lot of different training programs that have been suggested to me but I like to keep things simple. I got this ...

I am have not worn a watch in a long time because in order to put a watch on required my circulation to be cut off in the process. I am able to wear it comfortably without a problem now that my wrist isn't the width of a normal person's thigh. I am excited to start clocking my runs and trying to improve just a little each time. I figure if i have to go a little faster each time, I will eventually have to run the whole way in order to beat my last time.

Running, stop watches, 5Ks ... sometimes it's hard to believe it's me I am talking about.

Aug 8, 2011


This weekend, I got this...
2nd Place | Corp. Games Fishing Tournament
by going here...
Jordanelle Reservoir

with a couple of these ...
tube jigs

to hunt down a bunch of these...
smallmouth bass
Not really a weight loss related post but I probably wouldn't have had the confidence to go on this fishing expedition a year ago. I would have worried about having a hard time keeping up with my team hiking into place and walking the shore line. When Justin, the fish whisperer, asked me in an email if I was okay walking a long distance to get to a good fishing spot I didn't have to hesitate. It was awesome to reply "No problem here."

It was a blast and I have got the fishing bug bad. The whole Badger clan is headed up Big Cottonwood Canyon this next weekend and I think Karlie and I are going to break of from the pack and go fishing early Saturday morning at Silver Lake.

Standing for 4-5 hours fishing would have left my legs and ankles in bad shape for days a year ago. It wasn't a problem for me and it was hard for me to leave my fishing spot to be to the docks for weigh-ins. I love the outdoors. I am so grateful that I am able to enjoy nature. I would have been prohibited by my previous weight in so many of the things I am doing now. I am not quite to the point where I can climb cliffs or charg up mountains but for now I can hike, fish and camp. It's exciting to see opportunities open up and see the future with endless possibilities. 

Aug 4, 2011

FAT GUY vs. FIT: Won't he ever give up?

Back in April I wrote a post, Fat Guy vs. Fit (The voices of my inner struggles). In the post I wrote about how EVERY time I would go to the gym, I would try and talk myself out of doing cardio. Luckily Fat Guy has yet to win the argument since I started on this journey But what gets me is that even after all this time he is still there screaming at me every time I start heading over to the elliptical machine.

There are some battles that Fat Guy doesn't even try to argue about now. Drinking Mt. Dew, eating fast food and watching 4 hours of T.V. at a time are all things he has given up on. He knows it just ain't happening. I have come to realize there is some stuff that he will just never give up on though.

There are only 2 things you can do when you come to the realization that your inner fat person will never give up on something.

Aug 3, 2011

WIFE WEIGHS IN WEDNESDAY: I Thought Mike Was Adopted

How Mike and I Met:

I have always been attracted to husky men.Whatever you picture as husky... you know the guy who has some muscle to balance out the fat ;) It gave me security knowing I was smaller than the guy I was dating, it made me feel secure and confident. And I just find bigger guys attractive okay!

Sorry all you husky guys out there, I'm taken.
Ha ha ha!!! Lol.

When I first met Mike I considered him the perfect combination of husky. Him and his sister Shelley (also taken) were always together. Before I knew it was his sister I thought Mike was dating Shelley because they were ALWAYS together. After a while Shelley and I became "besties" in our Singles Ward and I figured out that Mike was actually her brother. Phew!

Aug 1, 2011

FINISHED MY FIRST 5K: Not at all what I expected

 It all started a couple weeks ago when my work announced the "Corporate Games" were back again this year. A bunch of companies in Salt Lake get together to put on an Olympics of sorts and compete against each other. There are always 2 divisions in each event. There is a "In-it-to-win-it" and a "Just for fun" group. When I saw that they were doing a 5K I had this weird urge to sign up. Maybe it was because of the races Kar has been in this summer, maybe it was because I was delusional to how far I have come in this whole weight loss journey.... I don't know. All I know is I had no time to train and had no idea what I was in for.