It was about August of last year that I really made the choice to lose the weight. Before that I was fickle and cared but didn't have the drive to make it happen.I thought a 5K would be a good way to celebrate a year in fitness and lifestyle change. Sounds like a good idea right? I knew I wasn't as prepared as I wanted to be physically but I never expected the emotional stuff that would come out during the race either.
|Getting pumped with LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem in my ears|
I get to the race site, already apprehensive and get my first look at the course. "WHAT!? We are running on grass?" I was not happy. "Are you serious? Look at the steep hills!" I was kind of pissed. There was so much I was not happy about going into the race but at some point I just had to say "Screw it" and just tell myself it didn't matter, I was going to do it.
|A frustrating finish|
As we drove home I just bawled like a baby. I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted to be encouraged and empowered by this experience, not feel inadequate and angry but at the end of the race I couldn't help but feel like the fat kid picked last for everything, the fattest person in the room. I felt like I was right back at 524 pounds and that nothing had changed.
|Jeffrey was so proud of his Dad. I love this kid.|
I guess even with all that I have accomplished and all the positive changes in my life it is still hard when confronted with the reality of how much ground there is still left to cover to get where I want to be.
|The ADP 5K Team|
I am proud that I did the race. I am motivated to continue on my journey and I am NEVER going to stop. Sometimes, in order to progress, you have to be hit in the face with humility but the pain and frustrations all part of the process. Embrace it, use it, and get it done.