Nov 21, 2011

I'm done being stupid

Hi, My name is Mike Badger. Just thought I would introduce myself to anyone who might still be listening out there. I got lost in my own bull crap. Today I got a reality check that made me feel stupid but may be what I needed to get my butt in gear.


Over the past couple of months, there was a lot that happened. The funny thing is that they were all good things. I helped my sister setup a successful Internet business that has created a new stream of income. Karlie and I found out we are going to have another baby. All good stuff. But when good stuff starts to happen, sometimes life gets busier than when all things seem like they are in the crapper.

I find it is the same with spiritual things. When I am at my lowest point or am in need of answers, I am quick to turn to God. When everything is going wrong or there is too much to deal with in life, I am sure to remember to pray, read scriptures and go out of my way to serve others. Then what happens is things start to go better for me. I start to find the answers I was looking for. I start to receive the blessings from doing the things that I know I should be doing. Then once I am feeling like everything is going well, I start to forget WHY I am receiving the blessings. My scripture reading slows, my prayers get shorter and fewer... and guess where I end up? Back at square one.

In my journey to lose weight and lead a healthy life, I am learning that it can be harder to keep going when everything seems to be going my way. With the steps I have taken along my journey, there are boundaries that have been built that keep me from ever getting to where I once was (524 Pounds) but in the past month of leaving the blog, abandoning the gym and making bad food choices, I have found my limit and enough is enough.

Today I had a new coworker come up to me as I was eating my lunch. On today's menu, a bacon burger with blue cheese and a side of fries. Now this meal is not a representation of what I have been eating over the past couple months so don't worry too bad, but it is what it is non the less. The coworker came over to ask me about my weight loss success. I felt like a complete idiot telling him about what I had accomplished as I sat next to my fat attack meal. What a <insert expletive> I was.

That was it!!! Enough is enough. I used excuses about the business, work and the craziness that was real for a few weeks. I have now stretched a temporary need to alter my schedule into a 2 month long excuse for turning my back on my goals and pushing forward.

I keep telling myself, I'll get back to it by the end of the year. I pick it all back up January 1st. Forget that mess. I need to listen to my own tag line:
"It's not WHERE you start. It's WHEN"
I wanted to add this to this post for myself. I wrote this and now I am the one who needs to read it again.
One Day

This whole time I was one day away,
one day away from success.
Who knew the power
that 24 hours
could have on becoming my best?

I've always had the intention,
of a healthier life and physique.
but my thighs are still rubbin'
and my blubber's still blubbin'
because of the day I would seek.

This whole time I was one day away,
only one day from leaving my sorrows,
But intentions can't win
& fat never finds thin
if the day that you change is tomorrow.

18 comments:

  1. You are wise to recognize the "after the new year" lie. That only gives you permission to eat out of control until then - a lot of damage can be done in that amount of time. Even when we say that we will start over tomorrow we are just giving ourselves permission to eat out of control for the rest of the evening. Don't do that to yourself. It will just take that much longer to get to your goal. You were wise to include God - do that again.

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  2. Thanks Mike. I needed to hear that. Things have been in the crapper for me since we moved to CA and the other night I sat down with Karlie and asked if I could be accountable to her. Once we get back I'm going to text her and let her know I worked out every day. Time to get out of my own way!

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  3. Great post man! I know exactly where you are coming from. If you have visited my blog lately, you will see many frustrating posts - as I fell off the wagon as well. I was lying to myself.

    It took me jumping back in to the fitness community to force me to hold myself accountable again.

    Strength in numbers, my man. If you ever need anything - let me know... #BrosB4Hohos

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  4. I am exactly where you are right now...Just need to refocus on my goal. You are a huge inspiration to so many people, you can totally do this.

    I have been horrible about reading blogs lately, but umm HUGE congrats to you and your beautiful wife on having another baby!!!

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  5. So happy to see you are back! This is exactly the right time to get on track. You will be so happy when the new year comes and you've done very little damage during the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. :)

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  6. Glad you're back, Mike. You're exactly right. Start today, not tomorrow or Monday or January 1st. You will be that far ahead.

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  7. So happy for you and Karlie! I'm glad that you're back, I've missed you guys.

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  8. I really admire your courage and determination. I've been "on hold" for nearly 6 years talking about when I was in shape I could do this, that and the other. I recently realized how lame it sounded to talk about what I used to be. Thanks for your always encouraging and refreshing posts.

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  9. This is so crazy, I literally thought about you guys this weekend, wondering where you two had been since I hadn't seen any posts and then you post!
    Congrats on the new baby on the way, how exciting.
    Mike, this journey is not easy by any means, its hard as hell, you can do this, just keep pushing forward!

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  10. Hey, I totally get the spiritual thing. And it's stupid of us, isn't it, to not realize we need God's grace and power desperately--AT ALL TIMES--not just the hard or bad or sad times.

    Glad to see you back. Get the weigh-in done, restart, refocus, blaze trails, babe.
    Congrats on the new life coming. A blessing to be super thankful on this week of giving thanks. Allelujah and Amen!

    Mir/Princess Dieter

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  11. LOVE this post. I can totally relate. I wrote something similar to this post just a few days ago when I decided enough was enough too. I gained half of my 70 lbs lost back :( So mad and frustrated with myself. I told myself Iknew I would get back to it, eventually.
    Good for you for seeing and and setting yourself up to succeed. And while you may have felt like a _________, did you ever consider that this coworker coming up to you at that exact moment was actually an answered prayer? God works in mysterious ways :)

    Cant wait to read about your success, as I am sure that is what the future will bring for you :)

    Jennifer
    www.wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com

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  12. Sometimes it's hard to stay 100% motivated 100% of the time....and that's okay. It's good to be reminded where we are, however, and it sounds like you got the reminder.

    I got mine last week and it was tough but it was what I needed.

    I am still out here reading your journey, so don't stop writing it. :)

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  13. Hey Mike, great job on your recognition of the slippery slope. It's not always that easy to spot. I am reading, loads of people are reading.

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  14. I was wondering what happened to you! First of all, congrats on the baby! Second, I'm glad that you are getting yourself back on track. Just the other day I checked out your blog to see if I was missing your posts! I figured you fell off the face of the earth. Glad you are back. I know it's going to take you a hot second to get back into the routine and you're going to be sore as hell from the gym, but it will be worth it. You will be so happy to be sore again!

    Sarah
    notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com

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  15. wow. you wrote this just for me. I must share this.

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  16. Wow you are not in this alone Mike, its interesting how your truth hits home to everyone, thanks for your inspiration Barb

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  17. I am glad you are back. Keep posting. Your burger and fries moment is an ideal ahha memory to help you remember that your food integrity does have value and meaning.

    Jane~

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  18. Don't worry we all waiver it is how we come back and overcome those struggles that matters. Become the new you! (new follower and truly inspired)

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